When someone apologizes to you and follows it with the word “but,” it can feel like they’re not really taking responsibility for what happened. For example, if they say, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, but I was just trying to be honest,” it can come across as though they’re shifting the blame or justifying their actions.
This kind of apology can make you feel like your feelings are being brushed aside or that the person isn’t truly acknowledging the impact of their actions. Instead of focusing on making things right, the conversation can turn into a defense of their behavior, which can leave you feeling unheard and unresolved.
It’s important to recognize that when “but” is used in an apology, it often signals that the person is struggling to fully own their mistake. While it’s natural to want to explain our actions, a true apology should focus on understanding and validating the hurt caused, not on explaining it away.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of this kind of apology, it can be helpful to gently express how the “but” makes you feel. You might say something like, “I appreciate your apology, but when you add ‘but,’ it feels like you’re not really acknowledging how I feel.”
A sincere apology will help to alleviate animosity and bring healing!
Proverbs 12:18 ~
"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Food for thought...
Kimberly @ God's Healing Power Radio Ministry
Hope For Healing Radio
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