ARTICLES

How To Love Your Wife as Christ Loved the Church
by Kimberly Lemler

 

 

I received a letter from a husband asking me what he could do to save his marriage. He told me about their particular situation and it was clear to me that this husband had no clue how to love his wife. Although we are not given “marriage manuals” when we tie the knot, we do have the ultimate wealth of knowledge when it comes to marriage and it can be found in the pages of the Bible.

 

What Is Love?

There are four kinds of love in the Greek language. Agape, Eros, Philia, and Storge. The love that God refers to in the passage, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25),is called “agapao”, or agape love. The term was used by the early Christians to refer to the special love for God and God's love for humanity, as well as the self-sacrificing love they believed all should have for each other. Agape love is unconditional, self-sacrificing, active, volitional, and thoughtful love. Paul describes love in this manner: "Love (agape) is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”-1Cor.13:4-8

 

Contrasting Definitions

Eros is the kind of love that is romantic or sexual. Philia is brotherly love, or friendship. Storge is fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance. These 3 kinds of love contrast agape love, yet in a marriage can be beautiful and necessary complements. A marriage that displays all 4 kinds of love has a glue of substance that binds two souls together in a way that is almost impossible to pry apart.

 

How Does Christ, Through Action, Love the Church?

 

1. He supplies our needs.  (Philippians 4:10)
2. He trusts us.  (Mark 16:15-18)
3. He helps us.  (John 16:7)
4. He understands us.  (Hebrew 2:18, 4:15)
5. He cares for us.  (Mathew 6:26-33)
6. He comforts us.  (2 Corinthians 1:4)
7. He protects us.  (Romans 8:31, Psalm 91)
8. He gives us security, rest and a safe place.  (Matthew 11:28-29)
9. He hears us.  (1 John 5:15)
10. He anticipates our needs before we ask.  (Matthew 6:8)
11. He forgives and defends.  (1 John 2 :1-2)
12. He is humble and serves.  (Philippians 2:1-8)

 

 

The key to a successful marriage is learning how to love as Christ does and how to submit to one another. A husband becomes a strong leader in his home only when he is Christ-like. What woman would not want a man who is obedient to the Lord as a servant and in turn, serves her needs?  A man who is demanding, selfish, abusive, and chauvinistic will never win over his wife and there will be constant strife in the home.

 

Husbands, you are called to be the personification of love, who is Christ, to your wife. When you are Christ-like, the family flows smoothly as a unit and you can sincerely have days of heaven on earth…

 

“…serve one another in love…” – Galatians 5:13

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” – Ephesians 5:21

 

Copyright © 2006. Author Kimberly Lemler. All Rights Reserved.